Take comfort in the fact that their happy little family has a failure rate of 95%. I’m looking forward to the demise of my xsil’s marriage!
I know you are hurting and angry with your ex but the fact remains that no matter how awful he was to you he is still the father of your children and they need time with him as well. I am sure it is not all rosy at their house because the kids miss you.
Run a big bubble bath for yourself, rent a movie, enjoy pampering yourself a little. Sounds like you don’t get many opportunities to do this. Time will make it easier.
I am in the same situation but slightly different. My son was with his father at his grandmothers house over Christmas. My ex, who had yet to sign the divorce papers, brough his girlfriend and two children (one of which is hers and the other is the reason I am divorcing him). I was TOLD, after I expressed my wishes of my son not knowing who these people were, that THEY decided themselves that Billy should know. He’s 5 years old!! To make matters worse, when I complained EXTENSIVELY about her involving herself in our decisons…she has begun to email and message me accusing me of things and I have had to threaten her with a harassment order.
My concerns are that I am still married, my “ex” is living with the reason for our divorce and there is a child that was the product of thier affair…and I can do nothing about it. I have to sit here and share my son with this person just because his father has decided that he wants to be with her instead of “being alone”, at least thats how he justifies it.
BillysMom, I feel your pain girlfriend. Slightly different situation but same scenario basically. My kids are older. Ex meets rich hoe in another state while traveling for work…has affair…I find out…We split up and out of the blue he brings her to NC for Thanksgiving last year. No warning to the kids or anything. Well if that wasn’t bad enough, he’s riding the big time gravy train and has convinced her to move here right in front of our faces and at our backdoor. MY house was foreclosed on because he was too busy to try and sell it like the separation agreement called for so I’m stuck in a 2 bedroom apt for the rest of my life while he’s living rent free in a $250K house with his hoe and driving her BMW and Jag around town. Am I pissed? Hell yes I’m pissed. Do I hate it when he has HER buying stuff for my kids that I can’t afford to buy for them? Hell yes I hate it. Was I sick to my stomach Christmas Eve when my kids were in HER fine house? Hell yes I was sick. But what can you do? Live with that anger and hostility the rest of your life? I can’t do it. I’m happier now without his sorry ass and that’s enough for me. It’s taken me 2 years to figure it out, but I HAVE figured it out and you will too. There’s nothing you can do to stop it except secretly wish that they unravel and you’ll come out the better person. Hang in there girlfriend because I know exactly how you feel!
I think I get a little bit of my “joy” in knowing that he steped WAY down when he met the girlfriend who distroyed our marriage! Not only was she living with her mom (and HER boyfriend) in a trailer in the backwoods of southern texas, she has a 4 year old son with someone who “picked up and left her”, she has a felony record from when she was 18, became (what she now admits to doing purposefully) pregnant 6 WEEKS after meeting my husband online(!), and was in jail for 6 months for breaking parole 2 weeks after getting pregnant by my ex. Shes an immature manipulative little twit who let her booty show when she was staying at my mother in laws house over christmas and, now because of that, is no longer welcome at her house! I considered it a great day when I found the statistic that says “95% of all marriages that began as an adulterous relationship end in divorce.” In the end, I am happy with where I am at. My decision to leave him after all this, which has resulted in many different hardships for me also, was something that needed to happen for both my sake and my sons.
I am not trying to be mean at all when I say this…but realize that it could be worse. My sons first christmas he spent with my ex and our agreement per the court is the Christmas Eve at 6:00 p.m to the day after…he is only 4. I would love to see my child on Christmas. I know it is hard and I am not trying to diminish your feelings ok? Just think it could be worse is all.
See BillysMom, you have already come out ahead the better person in this one! I fully believe in what comes around, goes around and that a leopard can not hide his spots for very long…Hang in there!
I’ve never posted on the emotional site but I am feeling so incredibly sad today. My children left for the xmas holiday and they won’t be home until Christmas Day. This will be the first time I won’t be able to tuck them in on Christmas Eve and wake up with them and open presents from Santa. I am so mad, sad, angry that things have to be this way and I have to suffer when my ex was the scumbag that cheated on me and left me with 2 little kids. Even though it’s been years the time doesn’t make giving up my children any easier. What about my rights as a mother? I had these children to be a mom every day, not part-time. He cheated on me while I was pregnant with our second child and then walked. Why do I have to give up my children - it’s so unfair. Why doesn’t anything ever seem to catch up with bad people? They just go on prospering and screwing over people with no consequences. So here I sit, alone and sad while he and his new wife (who he cheated on me with) enjoy my babies. None of my friends can relate, they all have intact families. They complain how their kids are making them nuts now that school is out but I’d gladly change places with any of them. I feel very alone. Is anyone going through this same thing?