If you respost this question in the Legal Issues forum you will likely get a response from an actual attorney.
My non-attorney suggestion to you is that it is worth it to try to salvage your marriage before using the divorce option. If you contest assets and such in court it can be very draining emotionally and financially.
If you ultimately decide that you want a divorce no matter what, then I suggest you:
Recognize that he is willing to be sneaky. Defend yourself by taking the rest of YOUR money and putting it in an account he can’t access. Make copies of any proof of his infidelities that you can get and store it where he can’t find it. If you can get him to admit to committing adultery, then secretly audio tape him admitting to it. A secret video tape would be better.
Do not move out of the house.
If you have kids, do not use them as bargaining chips. Move forward with a presumption of an equal custody arrangement.
Shop around for a good lawyer. Don’t retain the first one you see without checking out others first.