My wife left while I was out of town


#1

Dear mrgoodnight:

Greetings. Yes, you may want to hire an attorney to learn your rights with regards to your wife. She may not want to work it out. It appears that she does not. You cannot get a divorce in NC without being separated for one year first.

I hate to say that it already sounds like you “lost” your wife, but I believe she has shown you that. You need to make that decision though on protecting yourself. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

Thanks fot the advice Janet! Do you have any idea why she would want to cover up actually wanting a divorce? What grounds could she possibly have for making it seem like there is a chance, but really not intending on working it out?


#3

I had a friend this happened to. His wife moved while he was out of town for work. She was planning to do this two weeks before she actually did but couldn’t arrange and get everthing lined up(money in the bank accounts moved and had to get everything packed up). What’s strange, at least to me, is that she took very little of her own things but took EVERYTHING he owned with her. She was planning it for months and he had NO idea. He knew they had problems but thought that they were working it out also, but the whole time she’s getting her ducks in a row so that she ends up with everything when she leaves and gets more when they divorce. (just an example)

I think that you need to decide what YOU want. I understand how difficult this situation you are in is, believe me, but you need to protect yourself first because it sounds as though that’s what she’s doing(protecting herself).
If you believe that she has no intention to try to work out your marital problems then, if I were you, I would work with that belief. Use the worse case scenario, assume that she is not coming back, does not want to work out the problems and wants a divorce. Assume that she wants to make you feel secure by telling you that she just needs space and time away from you right now but in fact wants to get you to the point where you will do ANYTHING to get her back. That means giving her anything she wants only to find out that what she wants doesn’t include you anymore, but now she has all the marital assets and you are left not only broken hearted but also broke with all the marital debts. Not all divorces or custody cases have to go through the courts. If you agree to give her everything, maybe even pay her, then what is there to go to court for?
Protect yourself first. Get a lawyer, get a separation agreement drawn up. If she comes home to you and you work out your issues then nothing is really lost. Just my opinion.


#4

Dear mrgoodnight:

Greetings. What I know is that she may want to get a jump on you financially. If you don’t get alimony or need it in the interim, it will be harder for you to get it later. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#5

I went to visit my son in Dallas, and recieved and email from my wife of six years, stating she wanted to be separated. She never mentioned anything about it before. I told her I didn’t want to separate because I felt that it was just her way of getting ready for divorce and that I would rather just get divorced rather then her pretend she wants to try and work it out. She insisted over the phone that this was not her intention, but she has already moved “some things out” and I’ll see when I return. I returned to find out, she had already moved into a new apartment with her sister. The only things left where our small TV, the computer, which she rarely used since she quit gambling, the futon, my clothes and a dresser. She is overseas on vacation and we speak on the phone occasionally, even though she said she would rather not at first, because she needs some time to clear her head. We were married in NYC. I’m wondering if I should get a lawyer or what. I’m trying to work it out with her, but she just makes it sound like no matter what I do to change my poor work ethic and anti-social ways, that there is no guarantee and that I should just focus on getting “my life” together. She won’t give me any sign that she wants to work it out. I might have to say she is being decieving or trying very hard to throw me for a loop. Does anyone have any advice for me? The last thing I want is to lose my wife, but I also don’t want to waste time if this is a time sensitive situation that I’m in. She has agreed to go to a marriage counselor if I arrange it.