I have sole legal and primary physical custody of my children. My ex-wife has visitation every other weekend. A year ago I discovered that her boyfriend (they do not currently live together) has a long history of pornography addiction, including child porn. I have seen some of the child porn he looks at through some of his social networking accounts as well as by tracking some of his internet usage online. The sites he goes to, especially those depicting children, are sickening. I spoke with this man’s ex-wife who confirmed that the primary reason she divorced him was his uncontrolled sexual deviancy, including his interest in child porn. He has no criminal record.
I raised my concerns repeatedly to my ex-wife about this man’s influence on our children and expressed serious concern about him being alone with my 7 year old daughter. Sometimes my ex lets the boyfriend babysit my daughter alone and my daughter has reported that he sometimes gets under the covers with her in bed to read stories to her. Also, my 12 year old son has viewed pornography on my ex’s computer by clicking on porn links in her email account. However, my ex-wife has not modified any of her behaviors.
After warning my ex-wife that I was willing to go to CPS with my concerns if she didn’t put some safety measures in place, I did so. It was a total waste of time. A worker went out and checked to see if she had food in the house and that was it. At this point, my wife and I are scared to death of what this man might do to my daughter - but I have yet to find any recourse because I have no “proof” that would likely hold up in court. His ex wife lives far away and says she would be afraid to testify against him because he used to rape her. I have seen his internet usernames and visited sites myself, but I’ve been told that it is virtually impossible to prove in court that these accounts are actually his.
During my custody case our custody evaluator interviewed my children and wrote in his report that they each have very strong fears of this man and given the alleged child porn issue it would be inappropriate for him to be alone with them until the issue has been investigated and resolved - and even then the children should not be alone with the man until their feelings about him have been addressed in family therapy. But the evaluator’s report was not binding and this specific issue was not addressed in our final custody order.
What can I do to protect my children from this man? I would seek a restraining order, but on what grounds? If you were me and these were your children, what would you do?