What many folks don’t see sometimes is that marriages can deteriorate over time and when a separation / divorce finally happens, there may NOT be a needed time of waiting emotionally for people. The separation / divorce is a relief. It may still be sad and you may miss some things, but overall, you know you made the right choice. The OTHER person may see it differently (ie: get mad, vengeful, sad…) as would be understandable.
The other woman sticking her tongue out is childish, I agree, as well as disrespectful. I have mixed feelings on the 1 year waiting period and kindof having your life “on hold” so to speak as far as other relationships-if you look at the legal aspects of that.
You can’t deny access of the kids to your STBX. Whether you agree or disagree with how he lives his life matters not. Your children will see their Dad and make their own decisions based on how you raised them AND how you model to them. Being strong and moving on dispite your pain shows your strength and ability to ‘forgive’. Not badmouthing him in front of them is key too. It’s unfair to them. As HARD as it may be, you shouldn’t do that. EVEN IF HE DOES, you shouldn’t-you rise above that. In the end, your children will see that you are the role model-not him. My mother did that when my Dad left, and I remember having really bad feelings toward her and what she said. She also used me and my sister as ‘moles’-to find out what he was doing, who he was seeing etc. That was unfair too.
It doesn’t sound like you have a separation agreement or if you do, it doesn’t address visitation. I have a feeling that if it comes out in court that he is LIVING with another woman, and it’s a relationship (though he may claim it’s only a ‘roommate’). I don’t see how a judge would allow overnight stays-especially during separation period. I would be interested to know how the judge rules in this case when presented with all the circumstances. I hope you keep us informed.