It sounds like you have been hurt by the way your wife has chosen to react to the separation. My guess is it was her way of dealing with her own pain, and trying to fill the void in her life, although I know that doesn’t make it any easier for you to swallow. When emotions are running high, as they seem to be in your situation, sometimes it is a good release to write a letter and get all your feelings out on paper. You might even find that once you’ve written it you feel better already, and have no need to share it with her. However, if you do want to give it to her, it would probably not hurt you, as long as nothing you wrote in the letter could be perceived as threatening or harassing. You mentioned that you have been separated for 2 years but are not yet divorced. Do you have a Separation Agreement in place? If not, you may want to consult an attorney to see if there are matters that need to be resolved before obtaining the divorce.
Best of Luck,
Amy K. Kirkhum
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.