When does karma kick in?


#1

You know…I used to wonder the same thing about my ex. It’s been 5-6 years since we split up. I haven’t seen him since then but we have mutual friends and his sister is one of my closest friends. I recently learned that his wife, who he left me for, has left him and moved in with their drug dealer…he lost his home. He lost his vehicles…His 1st wife, who he has two children with, is getting an unreal amount of child support for the youngest child, who is 18 but will not graduate until June, now he has moved in with his older sister and her husband. His wife won’t have anything to do with him…a girl that he screwed around with the entire time we were together has left him, while on a date with him, for someone else…and his brother, who runs the company he works for, took him off salary so that now when he doesn’t work, he doesn’t get paid.

I can’t say that I’m glad that his life has turned to crap, but I am very happy that I am not part of it. He didn’t deserve me and he treated me badly. He tossed me aside after 11 years of loyalty. The best I can figure is he’s getting what he asked for, regardless of whether or not he knew that’s what he was asking for…
I did what I had to do to survive after we split up and I am a better person for it. I didn’t seek out vengence, though I could have easily, because I knew that eventually, no matter how long it has been or how long you have to wait, it always, always comes back around.
Hang in there and continue to do what you believe is the best for your daughters. Keep in mind that his new wife is doing what she believes is best for him…just as you may have done…but it will all come back around eventually, even if you aren’t there to see it.


#2

There’s no such thing as “karma”. I do not have the answer. Cliches and scripture have no bearing on anything. Some people get away with things. Others suffer. It’s more of a case of “haves” and “have nots”. It’s whoever is the luckiest, the most conniving…a matter of chance…we suffer at the hands of human beings…some of us…there’s enough money and food in the world to take care of everybody…but it ain’t gonna happen any time soon…good luck…if there is such a thing…


#3

I believe in karma, but when is it going to kick in? My ex does whatever he wantes whenever he wants and he continues to not suffer any consequences. He’s a con artist and keeps getting away with it.

I could fill up several pages, but I will spare everyone and just tell you some.

I married my ex at 19, he was 29, had been married before and had a six-year-old daughter. He barely saw his daughter and didn’t pay child support, but I didn’t know that. For the first six months of our marriage - I paid for everything. His paycheck always disappeared and he blamed taxes and child support. Well, a sheriff showed up one day while I was gone (I was always gone because I worked two jobs to pay all the bills) and served him with papers. He told me his 1st wife wanted more child support and he had to go to court.

Years later I found out that his 1st wife was serving him with a complaint for divorce, custody and child support. Imagine that, he wasn’t yet divorced from the 1st wife when he married me, oh and he wasn’t paying child support all that time either.

He told me he didn’t see his daughter more often because her mother and grandmother hated him and would not let him see her. When she did come to see us, she seemed fine until the evenings then would cry hysterically and want to go home. I had no idea it was because she hadn’t spent much time with her father and was scared. He completely had me believing that her mother filled her head with all kinds of things to maker her act that way. I fell for it hook line and sinker. We put a 2nd mortgage on the house we bought and he filed a suit for custody - we ran out of money and he dropped it later.

Fast foward a few years - we decide to have a child. I became pregnant with twins. When I was six months pregnant is when the person behind the mask appeared. My ex works a real job, but also plays in a band (he still thinks he is going to be a rock star someday). I never minded it much before - all men have hobbies I thought. The day my girls were born (emergency C-section), he had a gig. He fully intended to leave me and the girls in the hospital that night(both were in the NICU) while he went to play a gig - but fate had different plans and it started snowing and the gig was cancelled.

There were many more instances like this over the next two years - before I finally made my escape.

So we separate - my daughters are 2 1/2. He see them for a few hours every few weeks or so - sometimes going three months without seeing them. There is always one excuse after another. Our child support order was private - he paid directly to me. He stops paying child support, so I had to go through CSE. Well we all know that takes forever. By the time I get to court with them - he owes over $4k. He is ordered to pay an amount plus another amount towards the arrears. The arrears would have been paid off in two years. Well it has been about three years since then and his $4k in arrears swelled to about three dollars short of $11k in arrears. CSE has never taken any action against him - he has only received a letter telling him he is not in compliance.

All this time, my ex and I have been amiable - even though he doesn’t pay his child support and he barely see the girls. I don’t want my girls to go through the bitterness that I experienced with my parents and will pretend to like him for their sakes all day long.

Now, he remarries last year. We don’t have a set visitation schedule because he refused to sign the separation agreement or divorce with one. He suddently starts calling (usually last minute) requesting to see the girls and sometimes we already have plans. He starts harassing me saying I am keeping the girls from him. Then I start getting nasty e-mails from the new wife stating I am a malicious bitch and the child support he is paying is too much - it doesn’t take that much to raise two little girls, and he never even gets to see them, etc. The girls begin coming home from their rare visits saying they don’t ever want to go back - the new wife is saying bad things about me and is being mean to them.

A couple of months ago, he files for custody - using the new wife’s money. He is stating I am unfit because my daughters are repeating 2nd grade. They both have ADD and other learning disabilities. I have been working with various doctors, therapists, tutors and school officials for the past two years trying to get them the help they need - but he feels I am unfit. It is really all about money. He has told me he would drop it all if I would agree to reduce his monthly child support and clear the “alleged” arrears. He doesn’t care about spending the $ on an attorney because it isn’t his anyway.

Since the motion was filed, I have had false allegations filed with DSS and been investigated then the new wife has filed charges stating I harassed and threatened her.

We will go to court in late January or early February - I am still waiting to find out the court date. I have spent way too much already on my attorney and am broke - money that could have gone to my girls. He still owes me $10k in back child support and $2500 in medical expenses.

Do you think karma will actually catch up to him when we go to court?


#4

Robinp it never ceases to amaze me at how alike your situation is to my own! I can tell you this, I firmly believe in karma and it does exist. I have finally after ten years of fighting my ex con artist have started to see him suffering the consequences of his lies, deception and selfishness. It may take a while but it does and will come back on your ex too! I just know this that noone is going to stand up and defend my child but me and as long as I am breathing I will keep on fighting for her sake because she is worth it! Keep fighting for your children too!


#5

I have thought the same thing about how alike our situations seem to be. I would love to be able to speak with you outside the boards to get your perspective on things.

Is that possible?


#6

Hi Robin P-

Email me anytime for perspective, advice or just to vent…

intheoffice001@yahoo.com


#7

Hi

I have just found out that we in the nursery give children a reading book from the scheme when they recognise about 7 keywords and have started to blend to read. But if the children go to reception without reading books they wait until the child can read 43 keywords before they are given a book.

Some now have 5 points in LSL and Reading and are not on a book.

I know there is no difinative answer but wondered when do others start children on reading books?

Thanks for advice and help…


#8

My wife of 7 1/2 years tried to kill me in my sleep with a 9mm to the head, which if I had been abusive would at least be understandable, But I spoiled that woman I cooked,cleaned raised the kids everything. All she did was shop and sleep, I even learned how to pull hair through caps and do acrylicx nails for her. And I look like a biker, But now all of a sudden she has all these mental problems and every court date is in broughton, meanwhile she emptied our savings,my savings and our childrens savings. Now she is shacked up with some guy she met in the nut house telling them I beat her which is what drove her to what she did ( A lie) and is calling me asking for money and a new iphone meanwhile she cant even call our children at the time she says she will, She wont say she wants a divorce , she needs time to get a backbone whatever that means and I have had to 4000$ on a bed and board divorce and now am a single 37yo man with 2 kids 47 tattoos who cant sleep and is a nervous wreck yeah wheres Karma. I never did anything to deserve this kind of treatment, Man I bet the women will beat a path to my door. I’ll kick your @## and you get mine hows that for karma, please sombody cheer me up


#9

Don’t give her any money. If she tried to kill you with a gun, that’s against the law! Don’t give her anything! I’m the one saying that there is no karma and I stand by that! File charges! Get the hell out! It will get better, but you have to do it yourself! You are the only one you can depend upon! You cannot be a victim unless you allow youself to be! Forget this karma crap! Take action to protect yourself.


#10

She’s a dangerous sociopath, obviously.
I think I’d take my tattoos and kids, and move!
Far away from Broughton!
When the “new guy” gets his, she’ll need
somewhere to go. I wouldn’t be there if I were you.


#11

thanks for the heads up folks