I believe in karma, but when is it going to kick in? My ex does whatever he wantes whenever he wants and he continues to not suffer any consequences. He’s a con artist and keeps getting away with it.
I could fill up several pages, but I will spare everyone and just tell you some.
I married my ex at 19, he was 29, had been married before and had a six-year-old daughter. He barely saw his daughter and didn’t pay child support, but I didn’t know that. For the first six months of our marriage - I paid for everything. His paycheck always disappeared and he blamed taxes and child support. Well, a sheriff showed up one day while I was gone (I was always gone because I worked two jobs to pay all the bills) and served him with papers. He told me his 1st wife wanted more child support and he had to go to court.
Years later I found out that his 1st wife was serving him with a complaint for divorce, custody and child support. Imagine that, he wasn’t yet divorced from the 1st wife when he married me, oh and he wasn’t paying child support all that time either.
He told me he didn’t see his daughter more often because her mother and grandmother hated him and would not let him see her. When she did come to see us, she seemed fine until the evenings then would cry hysterically and want to go home. I had no idea it was because she hadn’t spent much time with her father and was scared. He completely had me believing that her mother filled her head with all kinds of things to maker her act that way. I fell for it hook line and sinker. We put a 2nd mortgage on the house we bought and he filed a suit for custody - we ran out of money and he dropped it later.
Fast foward a few years - we decide to have a child. I became pregnant with twins. When I was six months pregnant is when the person behind the mask appeared. My ex works a real job, but also plays in a band (he still thinks he is going to be a rock star someday). I never minded it much before - all men have hobbies I thought. The day my girls were born (emergency C-section), he had a gig. He fully intended to leave me and the girls in the hospital that night(both were in the NICU) while he went to play a gig - but fate had different plans and it started snowing and the gig was cancelled.
There were many more instances like this over the next two years - before I finally made my escape.
So we separate - my daughters are 2 1/2. He see them for a few hours every few weeks or so - sometimes going three months without seeing them. There is always one excuse after another. Our child support order was private - he paid directly to me. He stops paying child support, so I had to go through CSE. Well we all know that takes forever. By the time I get to court with them - he owes over $4k. He is ordered to pay an amount plus another amount towards the arrears. The arrears would have been paid off in two years. Well it has been about three years since then and his $4k in arrears swelled to about three dollars short of $11k in arrears. CSE has never taken any action against him - he has only received a letter telling him he is not in compliance.
All this time, my ex and I have been amiable - even though he doesn’t pay his child support and he barely see the girls. I don’t want my girls to go through the bitterness that I experienced with my parents and will pretend to like him for their sakes all day long.
Now, he remarries last year. We don’t have a set visitation schedule because he refused to sign the separation agreement or divorce with one. He suddently starts calling (usually last minute) requesting to see the girls and sometimes we already have plans. He starts harassing me saying I am keeping the girls from him. Then I start getting nasty e-mails from the new wife stating I am a malicious bitch and the child support he is paying is too much - it doesn’t take that much to raise two little girls, and he never even gets to see them, etc. The girls begin coming home from their rare visits saying they don’t ever want to go back - the new wife is saying bad things about me and is being mean to them.
A couple of months ago, he files for custody - using the new wife’s money. He is stating I am unfit because my daughters are repeating 2nd grade. They both have ADD and other learning disabilities. I have been working with various doctors, therapists, tutors and school officials for the past two years trying to get them the help they need - but he feels I am unfit. It is really all about money. He has told me he would drop it all if I would agree to reduce his monthly child support and clear the “alleged” arrears. He doesn’t care about spending the $ on an attorney because it isn’t his anyway.
Since the motion was filed, I have had false allegations filed with DSS and been investigated then the new wife has filed charges stating I harassed and threatened her.
We will go to court in late January or early February - I am still waiting to find out the court date. I have spent way too much already on my attorney and am broke - money that could have gone to my girls. He still owes me $10k in back child support and $2500 in medical expenses.
Do you think karma will actually catch up to him when we go to court?